Class Year

2016

Document Type

Thesis

Honors Designation

Honors

Department

Women's Studies

Primary Advisor

Berlisha Morton

Second Advisor (if necessary)

Susan Thomson

Abstract

Dear God,

First, sorry for cussing, but at this point, I'm tired of having to say the same thing over and over and over again. I'm tired of theorizing with friends as to why men of color will claim they love black women by citing their black moms, grandmas, and aunties. However, those same black men don't realize that they just named women who provided unconditional care and that type of love is very different from loving black women. Love has nothing to do with loving mother, but rather being genuinely invested in the woman behind that title. Be invested in her passions, her goals, her likes and dislikes. Who was she before she had you? Your one way loving with once a year mother’s day gifts and weekly calls don’t count. . I'm tired of having to point out how by citing their mothers in that situation they still continue to dehumanize them by only appreciating their existences as caretakers, hence my reason for saying I am not mother. I'm tired of having to ask all the questions, lend all the ears, and examine all the sources of pain for everybody else, but I don't ever hear about men of color theorizing with their friends about how they potentially hurt black women I'm tired of black men telling me they love all black women, but only see and hear lighter skinned women, and then, claim its innocent taste and preferences. On top of that, they explicitly tell you they cannot learn from black women and have to learn how to be a man from another black man who doesn't know either. They constantly looking for that one brotha and when that brotha doesn't show up, he turns to white men. I can't teach how to be a black man no. Not sure I want to, but I could help and grow with folks in learning how to be an empathetic and loving human being, but that would require one to forsake the pursuit of power. I'm tired of men of color claiming they love black women but don't understand why cultural appropriation is PAINFUL for black women. And for the last time, I'm tired of shitting on men of color who don't hear or see me no way. I have no agency in these issues because they don't have anything to do with me and I'm just fucking tired. I'm tired of other black women telling me I need to hop off that political shit and just have fun and be happy...like da fuq? You think I ask for this shit? They say I should have more apolitical relationships with men of color and I'm just like 'you think I haven't tried?' Also I'm not here for that fake as fuck, superficial as shit relationship.

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